You can't balance your checkbook, but CAN explain the point system.
You run out of gas and try to explain to the cop (who's giving you a sobriety test) your weaving from lane to lane was just an attempt to get fuel into the pickup.
You teach your child to count like this... Park, Wallace, Earnhardt, Hamilton,Terry Labonte, Martin, etc. and then it confuses him because of the driver changes every year
When you have an accident, the first thing you try to do is pull off the steering wheel.
The second thing you do is blame Robby Gordon.
Every time you rotate your tires at home you put the stop watch to it and record the time and try to better it next time.
You're sitting behind someone at a red light, and when it changes, you yell, "GREEN! GREEN! GREEN! GO! GO! GO!
If you were Rusty you would have just gone when the other light turned yellow!
You know you're a Rusty Wallace fan if you go on green and cop pulls you over for going too soon on the green.
You time yourself on your wrist watch when you pull into the self serve gas n go.
On an Interstate exit ramp you stay on the outside to keep the RPMs up.
You try the left foot braking method and kiss the windshield.
You draft with a Fox Photo delivery car because "that Kodak car is stout."
You get away from a Lowe's delivery truck as quickly as possible.
You make sure to stay under 55 as you leave the gas pumps.
You say "But officer, I wasn't tailgating, I was drafting"
You name your first born Richard Trickle (insert last name here).
You paint a large 3 on the side of your 74 camaro.
You respond to motor noises.
You watch tapes of old rain delays.
You plan family vacations around a race date.
You have a poster of Benny Parsons above your bed.
When you pass someone on the highway you refer to it as taking them on the inside.
You pull into the gas station behind someone else just to see if you can beat them out. requires the wife to clean the windshield & son to check the tires).
You take your 4yr old son with you because you need a spotter.
You know what "The Cale Scale" is....
You know what a "whopper" of an engine is.... you remember the only time a "winner" was black flagged, and couldn't sit still for days because you were so ticked....
You count the cars you pass going to work as positions gained and when they pass you, positions lost.
You sign up for flu shots (at work) on Friday so you can fake sick in order to get home in time to see qualifying.
After riding behind the same two dumdums riding side by side for SOOOOoooo long, you decide to make it three wide down the front stretch, and pass them in the emergency lane (after looking, of course)
Your buddy is passing someone on the interstate, you're in the passenger seat yelling,"CAR HIGH !!!.....CLEAR!!
Only the driver's side of your windshield gets cleaned.
You can get 12 cans of pop. 4 quarts of Gatorade, and 8 sandwiches into a 14" cooler and NOT squash anything. 
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